30 May 2011, 11:42 AM
Be it a nation, an organization, a human or a tree, all have one thing in common. The roots / values / belief system are their life source. The trunk / conducts determine their overall stability. Branches, leaves, fruits/flowers speak of their healthy existence.
In my case, I was granted a second lease of life after my heart beats stopped. That was beginning of a new life, the foundation of my current existence. With that I was returned the accumulated wisdom, values and belief systems from my prior births. But that was no magical transformation. I had to go through the pains and the pleasures it brought along with it. That had been a long drawn process.
And within this second lease of life I had to live through two opposite kinds of life spans. The blessed one and the cursed one. In that blessed state, I was like many other saintly people who, by their very nature of existence, had been rendered misfit for blowing the bugle. For this reason, I had to be returned to earthly existence that gradually made me fit for Shankhanaad'.
31 May 2011, 7:41 AM
That earthly existence gave me the ability to understand what has happened, what's happening, and what's likely to happen as a result thereof. Prior birth's accumulate resources gave me the ability to look beneath the surface and equipped me with a vision to penetrate the smoke screen. This is where the roots of my current existence are.
Writing was the way to communicate with people and their worth is reflected through readers feedback. These are my present day conducts which will, in time, demonstrate if they are here to stay as a stable platform for ensuing Hindu Raashtr'.
Should Naaraayani Ma Bhav'Taarini wish, I could be instrumental to recreation of the lost Hindu Raashtr' after which I would want to give up this body. The shape, values and strengths of that Hindu Raashtr' will demonstrate it's healthy existence.
The Journey
26 Sep 2006, 11:14 PM, edited 2 May 2011
You may want to ignore whatever you may find incomprehensible out of that follows hereafter. For some things, one needs personal experience particularly when that relates to spiritual matters.
I am indebted to Ma Durga
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada [1998] [probably 2 Oct] — It was the night of जगराता (pronounced as Jag'Raataa). Ma Durga's invocation was in progress. Dr. Doobay of Vishnu Mandir (Richmond Hill) had invited Chanchal (from Mumbai) to invoke Ma Durga. Chanchal, in course of his invocation, would call out at the devotees present: "maang le Ma se, jo bhee maangnaa hai tujhe, aaj kee raat" meaning "ask Ma tonight whatever you wish". He would repeat his call to the audience from time to time during the invocation. I couldn't ask Ma for anything. I kept looking at Her and my eyes were filled with tears. Those were tears of love and gratitude towards Ma. She had allowed me to acquire everything that I wanted to acquire. What more was there to ask for?
The night progressed. Chanchal kept singing in the praise of Ma through the night. Suddenly, at one of his calls, the thought surfaced on my mind: "Take away from me, Ma, all that I have today, and give me a place at the feet of Shri Naaraayan".
Time passed. I burned myself in the fire of प्रायश्चित्त (pronounced as praayashchitt), much the same as the gold passes through fire before its impurities are eliminated. I had read and heard about तपस्या (pronounced as Tapasyaa) but it was now that I understood what it truly meant. Finally, Ma Durge granted my wish. Ensuing period between 25 January and 5 March [1999] was extraordinary in its true sense. But the "Time" to share with you those experiences hasn't come yet.
Return from that state was very painful. Giving up the dissolution of "self" into Naaraayan, and this return to the sphere of माया (pronounced as Maayaa) wasn't something that I was looking for. But then, I was already into the gravitation belt of माया and the environment was pulling me into it like quick sand. Nothing I could do to prevent the slipping away. With all my might I kept holding to माँ भवतारिणी Ma Bhav'Taarini in hope that She would pull me out some day. At that point of time I had no ability to think why was all that happening to me?
Much later, I understood, why. Without a glimpse into the previous life and, into the end of current life, it would have been impossible for me to fathom purpose of the Creator. Now I know from this experience that whatever happens under the heaven has a purpose behind it. It is, however, a different matter that we do not see the purpose when things do happen.
I am indebted to Naaraayani Ma Bhav'Taarini
North York, Toronto, Canada [1999] [Sept-Nov] — I had grown impatient. I asked Naaraayani Ma Bhav'Taarini: "Take back all my responsibilities, Ma, and let me focus my sight at your feet. I want to return there, from where You have pulled me out".
Once again I had to struggle with the tornado. This time it was much more severe, the hardest ever. It struck out of the blue. To get something, you got to give up something. This is the Law of Creation.
Bigger the favor you ask for, greater the sacrifice. And, it was me who had asked Ma, on the night of Jag'Raataa, to take away from me all that I had acquired. Ma hadn't asked me to give up anything.
Time passed. Ma heard my appeal. But She wasn't keen to make it a permanent one for me. After all, I had to pay back all my debts to MotherEarth before the Last Journey. And, how could I have done that, if I were to be lifted "now" from this "whirlpool of माया Maya" ?
Nerul, Navi Mumbai [2000] [second half]
A vacuum was created around me. I was free and yet shackled in this world of माया Maya. One day, I spoke out to Ma:
"All along I worked to fulfill my needs and my desires. You have now taken up my responsibilities on your shoulder. You have freed me from those self-acquired bondages. At the same time, You do not want me to go back to Shri Naaraayan. You have kept me shackled in this world of माया Maya. I need work to keep me engaged. Give me the work that would be in service to You".
It was the Mother and child relationship that I could talk to Her in this manner.
Etobicoke, Toronto [2001] [Friday 9 Nov] [night 10:05]
That was the memorable moment, significance of which I could realize as I woke up the next morning. That night, while listening to ShrimadBhagavad'Gita Adhyaay 18 Shlok 61, a fleeting thought passed my mind. I had a glimpse of my duty ahead. I got the feel of the job that was waiting for me. But the road map wasn't clear as yet. Nevertheless, I knew, Ma had heard my call, once again.
The agony of Transformation
As I boarded the aircraft at Venice [2002 Aug 4] destination Mumbai, the process began while waiting at Milan airport for the connecting flight. And then, with the arrival of 2003, the path opened up, on which I tread today.
Earlier, and for long enough but with intermittent breaks, I lived in mental make up of a वैरागी Vairaagi, safely staying out of that "Whirlpool of माया Maya" which pulls you down toward desire for accumulation and shackles you with मोह (pronounced as Moh) towards those whom you happen to perceive as your own.
But that kind of "distilled sight" was not equipped with the ability to see through the filth around. How then could I have warned you against threats—and conspiracies—surrounding you? So, return to the same "Whirlpool of माया Maya" became a necessity, if I were to stay fully awakened towards worldly elements, and remain ever alert towards alien cultures—and inherently hostile religions—seeking to destroy our Hinduism.
But then, this journey wasn't so easy. I was torn within myself. I did not want to return to the filth around, with a vision equipped to identify ignoble motives and deceptive ways of the predator religions, which have been working overtime to swallow up their nobler counterpart Hinduism. Inner conflict was at its climax. Agony was tearing me apart. I had to experience it silently within myself. I couldn't complain to anyone about it.
Shankhanaad'
Now,
I fully understand that this all were necessary to strengthen the process of transformation.
The battle ground was beckoning me, and I couldn't have charged ahead without being adequately
equipped for it.
I am indebted to Ma Saraswati
In different forms I saw Him. Sometimes as Shri Naaraayan, sometimes as Ma Durga. Sometimes as Naaraayani Ma Bhav'Taarini, and sometimes as Ma Saraswati. I did not let my sight stuck in the confusion over 'names'.
When Ma gave me the job to write, She took the form of Ma Saraswati. With Her wish my fingers played at computer keyboard, and thoughts poured out (2002-2005). Very little I had read myself. Many people have read much more than me. Therefore, I am not worthy of any credit for what reaches to you through me. I am just the medium who delivers. Take it if you have faith in me, reject it if you don't. I won't, for sure, come back to convince you. For, nothing that I have to gain personally by doing so.